A unity ceremony is a symbolic moment in the wedding ceremony, where the couple expresses their commitment to one another, as two people becoming one. In this post, I’ll discuss some of the unity ceremonies that I have used during wedding ceremonies, that you may choose to include in your ceremony. Hopefully one of these will resonate with you!
Unity Candle
This is perhaps the most traditional and most familiar version of the unity ceremony. In this ceremony three candles are present. There are two smaller candles with a larger (usually thicker) center candle. The two smaller candles represent each individual, their history, family & life from birth to the present day. These candles are usually lit before the start of the ceremony. The center candle is left unlit before the ceremony. During the ceremony, each individual raises their candle, and together the two light the center candle. Once the center candle is lit, each person faces away from the unity candle and blows their individual candle out. This symbolizes two separate individuals becoming one.
Some couples chose to expand on this idea by having formal candelabras flanking on either side. These candles represent the family members, ancestors, etc. of the couple.
Sand Ceremony
This is a more modern take on the Unity Candle Ceremony, except the sand ceremony can have a few alternative twists, to best reflect the couple. The most common mirrors the unity candle, but with three sand containers. Two smaller containers, which are filled with different colors, which reflect the Bride & Groom. The Bride and Groom blend the two colors of sand in a larger center container, creating a beautiful sand art piece that can be displayed for decades!
Alternative 1: Three Containers (Faith Emphasis)
This variation has a total of four containers. Three small and one large. Normally one container contains white or off-white sand, this container is usually poured in its entirety by the officiant first. It symbolizes a foundation of shared faith by the couple. Then, the officiant cues the couple when it is time to pour their sand into the middle container. Again this creates a tri-color piece of sand art.
Alternative 2: Multiple Containers (Blended Family)
This variation has multiple sand containers. Smaller containers are used to symbolize the Bride, Groom & children. Each container has different colored sand. During the ceremony, the Bride & Groom begin by pouring their sand into the larger container, followed by their children, who add their sand to the larger container.
Anniversary Capsule
In this ceremony, select (or make) a nice box. Some chose to have a lock placed on the box, just don’t lose the key! The couple will place meaningful items inside the capsule box. Along with those items, the couple will write letters to one another, expressing their dreams for the future, and their affection for each other. These letters are typically written to mark milestone anniversaries, which may include the 1st, 10th, 25th, and 50th anniversaries. As each of these anniversaries comes, the couple will open the box together and read their letter together.
Additional Inclusions: Some couples chose to have their parents or grandparents write words of wisdom to share with the couple as well.
Handfasting / Braided Cord
Handfasting is an ancient Celtic tradition where the hand of each individual is bound together during a portion of the wedding ceremony, usually by the wedding officiant. Normally this is done during or after the vows. This symbolizes the couple’s commitment as they tie the knot, literally.
Cross Braiding
The Bible has a lot to say on the subject of marriage and family. So naturally, a nice way for the couple to express their faith is to utilize a symbol of that shared faith in the ceremony. One such option is a braided cross. This combines the braided cord and cross shape. The three strands have a two-fold symbolism that can be expressed during the ceremony. First, the three cords represent the trinity (God the Father, God the Son & the Holy Spirit). Secondly, the center cord represents their shared faith in God, while the two outside cords represent each individual. When The couple works together with the officiant to braid the three cords together. Once complete the braided rope forms the shape of a cross.
Unity Cross
Another alternative to a cross braid is the unity cross. Here the couple purchases a kit that includes a wooden base, ornate cross design (interior piece), and simple straight-lined cross shape (exterior piece). The kit also comes with simple pegs that lock the various pieces together. The wooden foundation is usually placed by the officiant, as a symbol of the faith foundation in the marriage. Then the ornate cross design (symbolic of the beauty of the bride), is surrounded by exterior piece (symbolic of the husband’s role as a protector of His bride & family). Then the pieces are locked into the foundation, and the pegs are locked into place, to hold the cross together.
Tree Planting
This is a great option when you have a natural setting for your ceremony, like the Smoky Mountains! While some couples choose to plant a seed, I recommend a young tree or plant is planted in the pot. This makes a better visual for the ceremony when it’s complete. As the moment in the ceremony begins, the officiant talks about the symbolism of the tree, soil & pot. Then together the couple will place the tree in the pot, surround it with rich soil, and add water. From here the officiant will talk about the winds/storms of life that every couple faces. But together with proper care their marriage, just like the planted tree will continue to thrive, and with time will outgrow even the seemingly large planter in which it was originally placed.
Paint Blending
Looking for something to express your artistic side? Purchase a blank canvas (and easel). The couple will each have a bottle of colored paint, representing each person’s uniqueness. Together they will splatter the two colors on the canvas, usually starting along the top, and allow the colors to drip down. As the colors blend in a random design, a piece of art is created that you can hang in your home, to remember your wedding date!
Alternate Idea: (for blended families)
One way to include children in this ceremony is to also give each child a paint color and allow them to add their color to the canvas as well. This artwork now represents a new chapter as a family.
Wedding Lasso
Also known as “el lazo,” this is a traditional ritual in Spanish cultures. The officiant (or whomever the couple has designated, like parents or grandparents) drapes a floral garland or rosary around the couple, twisting it into an infinity symbol. From here there are two alternative methods.
Option 1: The lasso is placed on the couple following their vows, and remains on them throughout the ceremony. At the end of the ceremony, the bestower of the lasso removes it from the couple, and the couple saves it as a symbol of their love and unity.
Option 2: The lasso is placed on the couple following their vows, and a prayer is said over the couple and their shared vows. Then the lasso is immediately removed. This is a common practice, if the lasso is “borrowed” from another married couple, and will be returned to the bestowing couple.
Branding
A custom iron brand is designed for the couple to use for the ceremony. It may have any details desired, such as their shared last name, wedding date, initials, etc. From there the iron brand is heated up, to brand whatever desired object. Some couples choose to brand cow hides, while others may brand a piece of wood. One couple chose to brand a wooden pizza paddle! I loved this idea because well, who doesn’t love pizza?
Honey Anyone??
At one of the wedding venues here in the Smoky Mountains, they have a nice sized bee colony, which produces local honey! While the couple wasn’t planning on a unity ceremony, inspiration struck while they were on-site. The best man grabbed two small jars of local honey, and a larger jar, symbolizing their unity. They poured the honey together, then took a knife, spread the honey on a cracker and ate it. Their intention is to share a snack from this honey again on their anniversary!
Be creative!
As you can see, a unity ceremony doesn’t have to be elaborate, or traditional, but when it’s all said and done, it should reflect the couple and setting! While these are some great ideas, you can certainly modify one of these suggestions, or even create your own entirely! Let’s talk about how we can make your ceremony special!